How can I get YAMS to use the .xml suffix for xml documents, .rss for rss documents, etc.
There is an option to do this: set "Modules => YAMS => Other Params => URL Formatting => Use Mime-type dependent suffixes" to "yes", then clear the cache so that document URLs are regenerated.
The default mime-type => suffix mapping is as follows:
This can be changed by editing the "assets/modules/yams/yams.config.inc.php" file directly.
It is not necessary to use the SEO Strict URLs plugin in combination with YAMS since YAMS has SEO friendly behaviour built in. Furthermore, the plugin is not compatible with YAMS.
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